Having a blog when things in your life are in disarray is dangerous territory. Made even more dangerous by the fact that I try to filter myself as little as possible. Still, having said that – there are things that I’ve needed to be very quiet about for risk of hurting people’s feelings or embarrassing myself and frankly, I can’t decide which is worse but that could be my ego speaking.
As I lay down in bed this morning I had this thought that a good relationship is like a dance. The good ones are well-choreographed and move with fluidity; occasionally misstepping but getting right back on track. Of course, learning the dance is hard and it takes practice, but once you learn it – it’s so perfect and to outsiders it looks like you’ve been doing that dance your whole life, even though behind the scenes you were putting in major work.
How does one learn to be better in relationships? To be a better sibling, friend, spouse, parent – is it as simple as good old-fashioned do unto others?
I was hoping that the older I got that life’s mysteries would reveal themselves to me clearly, maybe in a dream or maybe I’d just wake up one day and know. That I would suddenly wake up one day and know everything. What a farce! I’ve been here (here being alive on Earth just fyi) almost 30 years and I still know nothing at all. I guess that’s the universe’s way of reminding that I am but a player in the game and that life keeps moving whether I want it to or not.
I wrote this thing about not doing the Sunday Share anymore and then I backtracked because I like to do that and then my browser crashed after I’d written the blurbs about the songs and now I’m sleepy so here is some music. See you next week.
Ashanti – Things You Make Me Do [Feat. Robin Thicke]
Jasmine Sullivan – I Need You Bad (Ft Missy Elliott)
Luther Vandross – A House Is Not A Home
It’s that time. The time when my cell phone reminds me that OMG YOU ONLY HAVE 10 MESSAGES LEFT OR I’M GOING TO DELETE THINGS. OKay, I get it. Here are some of the highlights of my texting. I love my friends.
+ Ignition is such a brilliant song!!!
+ Are you on pms? (we KNOW who sent this)
+ Not since last night. And he can kiss my ass. I need a TB test. Suggestions?
+ I’m watching Remy Ma videos. I feel like I can over the world!
+ Did you take pictures? Are there a lot of eyes at eye bar?
+ I’m gonna eat hot dogs! I’m walking to the liquor store to buy chips!
+ Did this muth@fuck@ just get his badge? Howdy Doody.
+ David Banner. Is this someone we need to love?!
+ U f#cking took my pen u piece of sh I hope u f#cking stub ur big ass toe! (aside: I DIDN’T take this person’s pen and I made them apologize – SUCKA!)
+ Chips on a paper plate nuked with cheese and cilantro Pace salsa which was brillz. And lays. Diet coke. No caffeine. Kinda flat.
+ I’ll try to be strong. TRY. Haha.
+ Cuz I’m allergic to life
+ It was meant to be that you’re tortured by us. Teahin you a lesson like Robin Thicke!
+ Send me a picture of him. Tell him your sexy CA (friend) wants to see. Hahaha
+ Hahaha child. I miss you today. To make me feel like you’re online let me say one thing: I have to poop! Haha.
+ LOL, y would it be weird? I’m grown! Ha.
+ Getting out of bed is a skill I don’t have today.
+ That message didn’t come through. I’m sorry, I think u typed something outrageous!
+ Love u. Would wash ur funky drawers. But nah.
+ I’m in love with Britney Spears right now!
+ I MISS YOU ON MY INTERNETS
+ I miss you everyday! :( When will you be homeness?
+ I love my new underwear. Where are you todays? Hope everything is okness!
+ Holy sh!t wrastling (spelled just like that)! We r so high I’m scared imma fall! Love those cheap ass tix!
+ OMG funyuns make the world go round my friend.
+ I got my jeans. I might slightly hate them but I’m keeping them. They make me feel the opposite of stylish. Haha we need to discuss obvs.
+ OMG Suga Shane = My Nick Cannon. You can just call me Mariah. Kthx.
+ I wish it was christmas. I wanna put my tree up!
+ Wednesdays r all u can eat tapas! man! That’s what u want! We missed it!
+ LOL. Then you’d live n roanoke and have babies! And b related 2 (insert name)! LOL. Not there yet. Left late.
+ Are you gonna be MIA today too? I’m sadness and miss you and can’t cope. Hope everything is goin ok! Call me I’ll be home all dayness!
+ My Solie finally pooped as we speak now = damn she dropped a bomb!!!! Stinky!!!!
+ I’m hanging out on the couch. Full. Ate chips, pizza rolls and made a french bread pizza. Kinda bored and very lazy.
+ The roof of my mouth is suffering. Ha ha.
+ HEY! It’s White Chocolate up in yo phone!
+ LOL I will pass this one ha. These philly girls seem m ore crazy than the DC ones.
I fear that I have become boring. Well, I may be exaggerating that a smidge, as I have already stated on several occasions my flair for the (melo)dramatic arts. I’ve been doing the family thing a lot, reading, playing scrabble on facebook and thinking about things that I want to write about and then (quite obviously) failing horribly at doing so.
So listen, I have lots of great stories that are probably more interesting than this. I realize now though, that in typing that, I may have just oversold said stories and now they might not be near as interesting as I’d once hoped them to be.
In the meantime, while my site is collecting cobwebs, you can keep up by following me on twitter and I’ve been posting photos on flickr too.
*My bad y’all. I was getting your comments via email and responding to them thusly, but forgot to release them from the moderation queue. Also, I stuck a note in for those of you who were unsure – you must hit preview before submitting your comment – it’s a spam thing. Sorry about that.
I’m trying decide if I should take a nap, read a book or finish eating from my bag of Trader Joe’s Nutty American Trek Mix. It should be noted that trail mix does not need peanuts. Peanuts are filler and they are stupid.
Being that I am a connisseur of trail mixes, I think my opinion is the right (read: only) one. Perfect trail mix is cashews, almonds, raisins and semi-sweet chocolate. Guaranteed to give you an energy boost and a sugar high.
You are welcome.
